‘tis the season to be jolly.

As the holiday season envelops us, my mind wanders through the cherished memories, finding solace in twinkling lights and festive melodies. Yet, within this enchanting tapestry, the realization dawns that this magical time can be a mosaic of contrasting emotions — a blend of stress, laughter tinged with anxiety, and celebration shadowed by echoes of past traumas.

Two weeks before Christmas in 2000, I visited my father in his hospital room in Hungary. Amidst laughter in the waiting room, inspired by his playful medications, we shared a moment. I presented my gift to him - the “upside-down” Christmas tree — a quirky idea influenced by the medicines he was taking. My father had thought that the Christmas tree was upside down but it was right side up. Needless to say, we were worried about him. My heart was in my throat.

In the waiting room, we had a warm drink together, talked about his illness, about life and him getting better soon. An hour later, we walked back to his room, filled with camaraderie and what my father had called “a sense of being in the army again.” He did not want to have his own room at the hospital as he enjoyed being with others.

We placed the “upside-down” tree on his bedside, and I noticed that the golden angel ornament was broken. Dad responded as usual, "Don't worry, I'll fix it.” Shortly thereafter, we said our goodbyes and I love you’s before I left his bedside, the hospital, and Hungary that day.

On Christmas Eve’s early morning, I received a call from the hospital nurse telling me that my father had passed away during the night. Underneath the tree that I had given him and his roommates two weeks before.

Years passed, and that upside-down Christmas tree and broken ornament transformed into a cherished keepsake, symbolizing my Dad's strength, love, and forever willingness to fix everything that was ever broken.

As Christmas lights twinkle, I reflect on Dad's lessons. The holiday season, a time of joy for many, can be challenging for others. Amidst the complexity of emotions, embracing the mix of joy and sorrow is crucial. Prioritizing self-care becomes a beacon in the hustle and bustle — moments for tea, nature walks, and deep breathing are not selfish but essential.

This rings especially true after more recent years; I said farewells to two dear friends who departed during this time of year. Their absence serves as a reminder — amidst the festive cheer, many people grapple with the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment. Tragically, they both took their own lives.

🌲 Navigating the Unique Journey of the Season:

The holiday season is a journey, and each person navigates it uniquely. By acknowledging the complexity of emotions, prioritizing self-care, seeking support, creating new traditions, and reflecting on the significance of the season, we find a path not just to cope but to savor the beauty and connection that the holidays offer.

💔 Remembering Loved Ones:

As we immerse ourselves in the warmth of the season, the absence of these family and friends echoes in our hearts. Their laughter, shared moments, and the unique light they brought into our lives linger in our memories. This season is a reminder of the battles some face silently, and it compels us to extend compassion to those who may be wrestling with their own struggles.

🤝 Seeking Support:

In the face of stress, anxiety, or trauma, seeking support from loved ones or professionals is a vital step.

🚪 My Door is Always Open:

In the spirit of understanding and connection, I want to emphasize that my door is always open. If you find yourself alone, in need of a conversation, or simply seeking company during this holiday season, please reach out. Whether through a message or a call, I am here to read, listen, and share a moment of companionship. The holidays can be challenging, and no one should feel isolated during this time.

💌 Reach Out, Connect, Share:

If you know someone who might be spending the holidays alone or experiencing difficulties, extend a hand of friendship. A simple message, a shared moment, or an invitation can make a significant difference in someone's holiday experience. Together, let's weave threads of connection and compassion during this season.

Wishing everyone a Christmas filled with love, laughter, and the magic of cherished memories. May the light of understanding and companionship shine bright in the lives of those who need it most. - Tücsi